Why We Love To Hate Himesh Reshamiya.

An extract from something my friend said:=

P: This guy gave 20 odd hits in a year and everyone seemed to talk about him. The established contemporary singers criticized his nasal singing but their comments reeked of jealousy and utter contempt that their words spit made envy more obvious. If somebody asks you “Do you like Himesh?” and you say “Yes” just to find the other guy smiling or probably even laughing as if you have said the worst three letters of your life. Well, the guy who popped the question likes him too but is not willing to accept this. Why? Why, it has become fashionable to criticize this man with a cap who has taken the Indian film music scene by a storm; the man who kicked the reigning singers southward. People feel embarrassed to admit that they listen to Himesh Reshammiya but the truth remains that you cannot avoid this man – he rules the lounger bars, discos, pubs, auto rickswaws, taxis, paan stalls, music shops and malls. You listen to him at home too. Then, why do you feel compelled to say that don’t like him? All I can say is – You can love him, hate him, but you just can’t ignore him.

Me: Right! Just tell me how.

You ignorant assmunch! It's a 30 year old man with a cap. Who probably hasn't bathed for, say, around 30 years.

The other singers are NOT jealous, their voice STRICTLY, ONLY talks off irritation. The person who pops up that 'What do you think about Himesh?' does NOT like him. trust me, he JUST wanted to laugh his ass off. Haven't you seen the things he's been doing?!

P: (begining to get the point) Like what?

Me: Ok, I'l cut this one down, he can JUST sing nasal, prolly cause his VOICE hasnt matured, he wears a cap (ALL the time), prolly cuz HE hasn't matured. All this and he romances a 16 year old hot girl in a big banner movie?!

Michael! Oh, Michael Jackson! Your lawers are gonna LOVE this one! Mcauley Culkin better stay away from this motherfucker!

Movie Review: Bhool Bhulaiya

There were some characters in this movie who were not needed at all. Neither for the thriller/horror factor or for comedy purposes. For example; Rajpal Yadav. He apparently is some rishi/guru/whatever who claims he’s pretty good at scaring the fuck out of ghosts (ironically) and sending them away from homes. He becomes a retard after seeing the ghost of Manjulika (Booooooo! M-A-N-J-U-L-I-K-A) and is eventually cured by a tight slap from Akshay Kumar.

All right. So who the FUCK gives a shit?! We don’t know who he is! We don’t know his background! Who the FUCK is he?! What?! Why?! That’s how bad the movie is directed. At the end of the movie, all you remember are few characters who actually have some meaning to the movie. The rest of the retards are subsidiary. Not needed. By the way, there was some hot girl, who couldn’t speak because of something, but at the end of the movie she started talking, because of something.

One of the main reasons I am recommending you all to see this movie is because of Vidya Balan and Akshay Kumar. Kya faaad acting hai bhai.. Feel aa gayee. Sacchi Pucchi! Ultimate acting. Akshay Kumar was perfect for his Psychiatrist role. He executed it with perfection.

All in all, this is a horribly directed, beautifully acted movie. The mystery’s build up is perfect, but the uncorking of the same is simply.. Bleh. The performance given by Akshay Kumar and Vidya Balan are really, really good, but the rst of them suck. Believe me, they reek. Stink. Ugh.

Final Review:-

Acting – 7/10 (Akshay Kumar/Vidya Balan) 1.5/10 (The rest of ‘em)

Story – 4/10

Songs – 10/10 (Bhool Bhulaiya) 0.1/10 (The rest of them)

‘Feel’ Factor – 4/10

I would recommend this movie for all Akshay Kumar fans and those rare ones who are interested in psychology. The rest of you might wanna either come with your girlfriend/boyfriend or buy a LOT of food @ snack bar.

Don’t forget to watch the song ‘Bhool Bhulaiya’ at the end of the movie!

Friends 'n' All :)

To whom it may concern:-

It’s hard to talk ‘bout a SPECIFIC bunch of people, ‘cuz you know that the unspecific ones will take it personally. And it’ll take a lot of ass kissing to make up for it. But I don’t care. But I don’t like ass either. So if you don’t like this, make sure you go fuck yourselves.

I have a LOT of friends. A LOT, a LOT, a LOT.

Well, 6, really. And I won’t take names. Just nicks. The ones I gave them.

Let’s kick off down south; Veturi. He thinks he’s so cool. Just like nariyal ki chutney. But you’re not. So, stop being so utthapam about it. He doesn’t even have a soul. Well, no southy does, but whatever; We call ‘im dosa. Actually, I called him dosa, made him cry, and soon enough he accepted it and let everyone else call ‘im dosa. And now he wants it trade-marked and reserved. He thinks he actually dosa-rves it. (Get it, ‘deserve’) *Ahem* So, anyway, he once said.. *Starts laughing* hahahahahaah.. Ahahahahha.. OMG OMG.. Lol!! *sniff* It was SO funny!

Also, You fucking cheap ass Madvadi! Sometimes, just SOMETIMES, spend your own damn money @ Subway. I know you’re prolly thinking, ‘ I DO! I DO!’.

You don’t. Nuh-uh-uhhhh, you don’t!

Shh!

Just, shh!

Lil’ ol’ ‘batty. The main man. He just pwns SO much. SO much. So funny, so, SO funny, not so-so funny, SO funny. (Not funny) He’s probably the ONLY fag (yes, fag, not really, but yes, fag) who actually gets my humor. And my brothers humor. Well. My bro is all about the ‘bauz’. I’m more like classy, advanced, perfectly timed (Who the fuck were we talkin’ bout anyway?) Oh yeah, that guy. He’s fucking obsessed with protein. (Weird? I think not.) Whenever he comes to my house (Every weekend) to eat my food, drink my coke, take BEE-Aii-GEE dumps on MY commode, he always comments on how crappy MY comp is, how my family only eats chicken and roti EVERY damn night. It’s good food, bitch! What do you fucking want - - > One portion roti/chicken/daal and one portion protein?! Fuck you! And stop filling your pockets with aloo paranthas before leaving my house!

Btw, he pwns at basketball. Can hardly dribble, score or act like he can dribble, score. But yes, pwns at basketball.

Yeah yeah, you pwn in defence, yada, yada, yada :P

Doper. Waaazzzzzaaaaa!!! The ultimate cock-sucker. Has got almost laid by a lot of chicks; And therefore, (according to him) he almost ‘not’ a virgin.

Just cause you score better than me in Counter Strike online, and beat my ass one-o-one and pretty much pwn me when we are against each other in crowded teams, does NOT make you better than moi!well, just mayyybeee. But whatever, I got Steam, and you don’t, so fuck you :D. Once again.

The tall ‘thing’. Surprisingly has had two girlfriends. And is going out with one. Known for basketball in our school, or rather ‘baaaaskaaaaaaatbaaaalll’. (if you ain’t in AFBBS, you probably won’t get this). So dumb, it’s un-fucking-believable, and almost as tall.
He has claimed to have dunked the ball twice. But never in front of anyone. Somehow, SOMEHOW, he always manages to dunk when NOBODY’s around. Little 4 foot worms can guard him, AND score ova him. Believe you me, I know; I was one of ‘em. All in all he ISNAUTGOOD. *Ross type, speedy voice*
Ask him to set-up girl for you and give her the HINT that you have a crush on her, he’ll go ahead and go ,”Oooiiii beeeinchudd! Prakhar loves you, beeinchuud! Layy lee beeinchud!”

Bhanchod, saala.

Pilla.

Nkool and Brit boy. The former has no time for reading dim-witted, shitless blogs. The latter doesn’t have an internet connection, or a life. So, fuck you both.

As for my bro. he’s all ‘wow’. He’s a fucking genius; I almost live my life through his ‘teachings’. Satan pushed him all the way up cuz everyone started following him instead. He’s my god. God, I tell ya! Everyone hates him, cuz he’s jusht sho cooh.. Yet, they worship him, and lick his bauz.
As Veturi well knows, if he asks me to make him a sandwich at 6 in the morning, I will, if he asks me to bend over, I will, if he asks me to run naked in front of Apollo hospital and yell ,”I’m the devil! Run, motherfuckers! Save yo arses!” (Never happened :|), I’ll do them ALL, magarr, main CHAMCHA NAHEE HOON!

Tosh deez, thanks for all the stories. Get your Harry Potter type glasses back. They had class. Trust me. I have decency. I just did that Apollo hospital thing once.
She thinks she’s fat, and has the nerve to say shit like ‘Ohh Mishy, main kitneee motii hoon, look at my double chin!’ in FRONT of me! Wtf?! I have more chins than a Chinese phone book, bitch! What the FUCK are YOU whining about?!
By the way, she ain’t fat. At ALL. That also doesn’t mean you can just go ahead and date her without hesitation. She has principles, like for example, the last guy who asked her out is still locked in my old apartment, hanging by his balls, which are nailed to the ceiling.

But, she’s quite sweet otherwise. :P

Movie Review: Aap ka Suroor

‘Aap Ka Suroor’ made me hold my interval coke in my urinary bladder so long that by the time that it was about to answer the earth-shakingly important 'why-that-asswipe-wears-a-cap' question, I just had to go! Thank god!

I ran to the exit door blissfully as I watched the last frame showing his hair finally blowing below his forehead. The problem was that they never actually showed the top of his head! Why? Why the hell ELSE would we go to the theatre to watch an at least 50-year-old-phaedophile, who apparently claims to be 28 (As if?), romance a 16-year-old-ex-SUPER-overactor by singing songs. From his nose!

The only reason I liked this movie was, well, frankly, that my genitals were ready to burst 15 minutes before the end. Or maybe Mallika Sherawat’s posterior.

Pro’s of the movie – It does make you laugh once in a while, since it's storyline is worse than a cheap porno's would be. Also, It’s almost a 3 hour long footage. So, you finally get the chance to try out all the flavours at the snack bar.

Con’s of the movie – The sad ass redundant jokes, ‘The’ Himesh Reshamiya, his nasal 'singing', his extremely stuffed up crotch (Thank the Lord Indian Cinema doesn’t have frontal nudity).

Hansika, there isn't enough make-up in the world to make you look 20-something, so please give it up and sue the mofo's who put you through that 'movie'. Also, go see the definition of the term 'child labor'.

Final Review:-
Acting – 1.5/10
Story – 2/10
Songs – 1.5/10
’Feel’ Factor – 0.5/10

This movie, to be extremely polite, was pathetic. Night Blinders might just come in handy!