A Confrontation, With Life.

So, people, I've been reading too many of these suicide cases in the newspapers recently. And I guess one of the stories, about a boy in Gujarat, whom I refuse to publicise, shook me a little. Believe it or not, but I did relate to it. I just couldn't believe what I was reading. I'm afraid I have no choice but to talk to you all in hints. All I can say is that this kid believed that he cheated so many times in his life that for once he had to cut it short and cheat on life itself. Think he's weak? You are probably right. But imagine your worst nightmares put in front of you, in the blink of an eye. No, not one after the other, but all at once, all in one go, all in one great big bullet that life shot straight at you, what WOULD you do? If nothing, you WILL quiver, right? Now imagine if the ones closest to you are the ones who have given up on you, and told you that you they did so, because you've done so yourself. Imagine if you have no one to talk to. Not even your parents, your brother, your sister, your friends, no one. Keeps your mind ticking, doesn't it? Ladies and gentlemen, according to me, the only way out, is talking to life itself.

Hmm, so what is life all about? Let’s poke a finger at that question again, shall we? Many people ask many people that, and many people have, well, many opinions about it. If you were somewhat above the age of say, 13, you would’ve probably realized that life doesn’t exactly always treat you the finest way. Oh, mind you, not the finest way one should live, but the preeminent way that you thought for you, yourself. I’m a little older than the age I just prearranged, and well, I might know a little more about it as well. Here’s my take on it.

Life is really not about ups and downs. It’s really not about how high you rise, or how low you fall, and not even how hard you fight back. It’s really about making your own little mess and cleaning it up. And, if you haven’t ever been in a mess, well, pal; you haven’t lived life as yet. But trust me; don’t give up on it, because it won’t give up on you.

Ok, let’s be real now. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? Is it really the time when your parents hit you for the first time? Or is it the time when you broke up with your girlfriend/boyfriend whom you really loved? Is it that time when you couldn’t get a girl/guy you really liked? Is it that time when you failed in some part of your academia, or say, even a grade? Or is it that time you lost whom you thought was the greatest buddy you’ve ever had? Is it betrayal by someone you thought was as close your own kin? Is it a long over-due reality-check?

Hell, no! None of them are even remotely close to the big fish! Everyone goes though these little obstacles, you know you have! C’mon, face life, and yell back; “I’m still here, I’m still breathing, I’m still as alive as alive can be! Yeah, FUCK YOU life! Nice fucking try! If the only way to be true to you takes all this and much, much, and I dare to say it again, MUCH more, well; I’m ready to face it. But, I don’t want anyone else’s snap judgments! I don’t! You don’t know me! No one knows me! And no one CAN know me, because, fuck it, even I DON’T KNOW ME! I might never! But, really, I do NOT want anyone else, and I mean ANYONE, breathing down my neck so hard, and so, so long that I feel that suicide is the only way out! I don’t! I want my life back, I want to be a pre-teen again, and I wanted to talk to my kin about random things, about something, anything beyond academia! About you, life! About you! Well, to HELL with it. I don’t need it anymore. It’s amazing what I feel now. I’m going through what I used to hope are my lowest times, and now I’m not scared. C’mon, life, this is an open challenge to you; take me lower, take me below hell even, I don’t care. Because this time, I’m prepared for you. I know your little tricks; I know your little games. I know how you like to pounce when I least expect it. But maybe this time I’ll pounce back and fight for no one else, but for me. Just me. Bring it on!”

You might never know who you really are,
You might never find out,
But the time you have in this world,
It isn’t about letting others find you, no!
… It’s about taking the mightiest falls,
Even if none of your core is left,
It’s about taking that biggest one of them all,
And letting that pain filter through…

Never give up, people. There's always someone to live for, and that's you.

The Bastard That Archie Andrews Really Is.

Ok fine. So I admit it. Some people might actually get pissed off over some random dark-complexioned, (a.k.a ‘sexy’, in his own perspective :p) Indian kid ranting about their favourite comic strip character. I deeply regret you shedding tears, but I’m afraid that your doing so won’t stop me from completing this post. I have nothing against you whatsoever. Also, it’s not that you have a heart of gold, and me of stone. It’s just that I hate freckles. And Mr. Andrews has those in abundance. [Just to make it a point: I don’t mind pimples (even in plenty). I love you Veturi bhai :)]

So, coming back to the point (Lol, right, like I ever make one of those). America defines Archie Andrews as being an “average” teenager. I agree to the fact that I haven’t been reading much of Archies (I recently read a few for this particular post) lately, but what I get out of it, is that Archie Andrews has two girlfriends - Betty (Blonde, and thus, dumb. A heart of gold and still beeps around with Archie even though she knows he likes Veronica a lot more – Almost perfectly Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, except blonde?) And the afore-mentioned – Veronica (Rich, beautiful, snobbish – Ooohhh just like Kareena in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, except beautiful?). Bee tee double-u, they both have the same face and different hair. Lol :P. Hmmm, well, I COULD say that NOW maybe, this is pretty much normal, i.e. double dating (In 2008 – The Modern Era), but hell, I hadn’t even HEARD of this crap when these comics had started selling in India (Roughly/ On an average, 1995 – The Stone Age).

I, being a childhood fan of The Archie Comics, was manipulated enough to actually think that (even when you’re a teenager) you can take girls out for dates, and not call them your ‘girlfriend’. *tsk* *tsk* tsk*. I’m afraid it is not so back here in India. I mean really, imagine this scenario:-

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to a person dead is purely coincidental. If he/she is alive… Well, God Bless.

Karthik likes Saac… *ahem* Saashi. But Tani… *ahem*, Taashi also likes Veturi… *ahem*, Karthik. Karthik doesn’t exactly “like” Taashi, but he HAS dreamt of her once [Read – Mishy all red :@]. In his dream, when suda… I mean, ‘Taashi’ was dating me… *ahem* I MEAN I MEAN! Not ‘ME’, I meant a (very funny) guy called ‘ME-SHE’. *phew* Yeah, so anyway, in his dream, even when Taashi was dating MeShe, she said ‘yes’ to him (Read – ONLY in your dreams, pal :)]. So, Karthik decides to take Taashi out for a romantic candlelight dinner [It’ll cost something like 5000 bucks, so again, in your dreams :)]. On finding out, Saashi and Prakha… *ahem* MeShe are heartbroken.

[Enter: The ‘Player’ a.k.a Tuhi… *ahem* Tur-ahkarp (P.s – Don’t read this name backwards, else I’ma bust a ‘rut’ :P)]

Tuhin: Howdy, sexy lady and, and, umm, Mish, is that you?!

MeShe: Hell no!

… Anyway. Turahkarp, after checking both of ‘em out, (surprisingly) picks Saashi. At this very moment, MeShe thought, and thought smart; “Damn, I should’ve hid the lump”.

So, now, Karthik, The Player, Saashi and Taashi are all happy. But MeShe wants revenge. All he needs is Karthik’s posterior, a funnel, and a live female turkey.

Note: This story must end here. The rest of it includes a couple of dark-skinned idiots fighting, struggling, scratching and biting. Also, it has blood, pain, a Mallu yelping, and a dead female turkey. I’m afraid I haven’t been given enough, umm, age, I suppose, to complete it. (freaking 18 year olds :@) 1 more year and you shall find out why I was beaten, almost half dead (soon after), by a big-ass male turkey.

So, anyway, see what my life could have turned into if I had started reading this crap any sooner? I’d have a broken heart, and a dead best-friend. Hell, I’d even have those animal-rights agents (a.k.a ‘Pussys’) far up my crack, asking me all these disturbing and confusing questions related to human sexuality and Turkeys. And when I wouldn’t be able to explain it to them: Juvenile hall. I mean, see, the kids there are more or less like my friends, but the food must suck, right?

Added: Also, no Turkey was harmed during the thinking of this story. P.s. – Sam bhai also wanted to be in the story. Hence, we shall bestow upon him a character (Charges apply) – Let’s say, the dead female Turkey.

Peace.

A Poem: Emotions, Just Show!

I don’t want to divulge the truth,
I want you to apprehend it on your own,
And I ache for your affection to show,
I don’t want to pluck out the seeds that we’ve sown,
The sun hasn’t set on us, yet,
All I can evoke is that it has in verity, once shone,
And I love you so much; it’s really all I’ve ever known.

Show me that you know, that you care,
Send me a butterfly or two; send me some sort of sign…
… And I’ll wait for it, baby, but I don’t feel I have the time,
Somewhere down the road, I know I’ll have to draw the line!

I feel dead, derailed, decayed, and all inside,
Remorse so unfathomable, I feel raped inside,
Talk to your own, talk where your comfort resides,
Talk to anyone…my foe besides,
Think just about us, it might help you decide,
Drop the care, the emotions, and a word of advice,
Think reasonably; keep your feelings aside.

Have you ever felt, while standing in front of the mirror, completely insecure?
Each tear trickling down your eye, reminds you of the same numbness,
You begin to abhor your own reflection, and you wind up weeping some more?
It’s not that you’re losing your desire; it’s just that it’s this very same desire,
Had got you feeling protected,
And you begin to despise it; you no longer feel that your love is pure?

Show me that you know, that you care,
Send me a butterfly or two; send me some sort of sign…
… And I’ll wait for it, baby, but I don’t feel I have the time,
Somewhere down the road, I know I’ll have to draw the line!

Nut Busters! : The New Rules of Love!

Beauty has its flaws. No no noooo, wait up! Not ‘because her face has pimples! It’s ‘cause way too many people are just too goddman horny for it. It isn’t enough that she likes you a lot, and you like her back as much. It is about making sure that a third guy, desperate to make her his own chattel for eight-straight months, and who misses her lot, eats right! Yes, I’m afraid, it’s true.

You love her, she loves you back. You’re both happy. You make-out during recess, and minus the on-lookers, it’s beautiful. You can’t be separated. You both talk on the phone for hour’s straight, just to make sure that your head’s ringing with your partners’ voice, wherever you go. She feels the same way about you. But, wait! I told you, na? Beauty has its flaws, all right!

This third guy, out-of-the-fucking blue comes back to her mind, and she remembers that he has been busting his nut for eight fucking months, whereas the moron who she’s been dating has been doing the same (not in real!) for just three weeks. Why should his fresh genitals get all the rewards, eh?! Sure, I mean sure, you don’t love this third guy, but you’re sure that one fine day, you might love him back as well (read: insane)! And because you feel this way, you kind of have to hurry, I mean, even Hercules’s testicles won’t keep damp THIS long! So you decide to remove the major obstacle (the lesser-busted-of-a-nut amongst the two) out of your path, and you succeed.

‘Yippe yay!’, Yells the nut-buster. The scenario now changes. She isn’t happy, you aren’t happy, and testosterone freak is almost in a state of hyper-erection euphoria! But, wait, hold on a minute. Doesn’t this third guy know that he’s just a pity case? Does it matter to him that this girl doesn’t love him back, truly? Are you a hundred percent SURE that she doesn't want to be with the other guy? Oh, wait, he's the one gettin' some... Nevermind. :P

So, you see, If the girl's hot, then uske peeche there are bound to be a million erections, oops, sorry, guys. So make sure that you’ve busted ‘em nuts a LOT. Trust me, you go bichra-aashiq on her ass, and her ass WILL want you back! Make SURE that you’re somewhat above the height 5 ‘6’, eat once a day, be helpless and sob like a bitch all fucking day. Also make sure that your friends tell her ALL about it. And before long you will see; you have super-human powers to attract the hawww-aww-tesht females breathing! Tested and proved, ladies and gentlemen!

A few more pointers, while I’m at this. You have to cut your wrists from time-to-time, consistently pick up on fights, or in short; you have to let her know that you’re a pathetic loser. If you’re thinking this might just freak her out, then you’re wrong. Times have changed now; you can’t be romantic with her, you have to straight away write her name on your arms with a blade. Dekh! Main tumse kitna pyaar kartaa hoon, jaan-e-man!

Just to prove my point, let’s go back to when it was just you two lovers. You both have been dating for a month. The message coming from third-guys friends was that he had stopped eating ever since both of you got together. I told you, na? Bichre-aashiqs DO have superpowers! One fucking month, with no food, yet he still busts his nuts with the same potency! He is very strong, very tall, very scary to look at, and VERY gay. Also, he somehow has sent her the message that he isn’t mature enough to be with any other girl. Sure, minus all the girls this tall-mofo has done before, he IS immature. Nuff’ said?

Life is just a big fat riddle, so figure it out,
Always thinking that you know.
Everything little thing there is to know,
But you don't really know, ya know?
It's like love, some people get it,
For some it's just a glove that just never fitted,
For me it's just a pain in the ass,
But I’m addicted to the taste, of hoping' it could last…

– Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)

To whom it may concern: Freedom of speech, never forget! Love ya!

Fuck Rihanna, I’m out!

A Poem: I'll Reflect. All Over Again!

Ok, this is a compilation of lyrics from many different songs written by many different artists. Most of the lyrics are broken pieces from songs written by me. I would like to thank Tuhin Parhi, Samir Malik and Pranav Malhotra, as lines from each of their songs have been used in it as well. This is just an experiment. Let’s see what you all have to say for it. By the way, it took a SHIT load of editing and time to write this, so make sure you read and understand each line. It does speak of a story! :D

Boy:
Baby, what’s been bothering you so?
Don’t you love me any more?
Has me loving you not been sufficient?
Is there any rationale that’s making you unsure?
I love you more than any other guy ever could!

… It’s a worn out proclamation, I know,
But your love is an intoxication, for me, for sure,
Each instant I back out from us,
I wind up begging for you some more!

The best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting,
It couldn’t be that we have been this way before,
I know you don’t think that I am trying,
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core
… But hold your breath!

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you,
Over again,
Don’t make me change my mind!
I won’t live to see another day,
I swear it’s true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find,
You’re fucking impossible to find!

Girl:
Our love doesn’t seem now, to have its same meaning,
We were over, when my each pound was kneeling,
So don’t wake me if I’m dreaming,
Don’t reminisce me, if your heart is screaming,
Don’t screech for me, if your thoughts are still leaning,
Don’t call me, if your insecurity is increasing,

Think about it,
Maybe you don’t need me, our relations already blazing,
Maybe you don’t need me, these thoughts, amazing!

Because your voice will decay,
But my feelings for you will remain,
And since your dreams won’t portray,
I just have to say,
That my feelings for you will fucking remain!

Boy:
I can’t live with pain and suffering for long, neither can you.
I can live with happiness and innocence and so can you.
I just can’t believe you're not there for me, but turns out you never were.

I break myself over and over and over again...
Only to rebuild my self, especially for you,
And then I break again.
But I won’t give up being built,
And I won’t give up loving you.
I hammer myself in my dreams,
I try to mould my dreams to perfection,
But perfection seems to be impossible.
I’m always not good enough, that’s what it seems to me,

And nothing is your fault.
No matter what I do, no matter what I say... I’ll still love you.
No matter what you do, no matter what you say... I’ll still love you.

Because days will come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever,
Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever!

… One last kiss, before I go,
Make one last wish, before it shows,
That your one last touch, that no one knows,
I’ll reminisce, when we’re paired no more,
Your one last caress, and I’ll implore for some more!

Girl (Thinks):
He's more than a man,
And this is more than love,
The reason that the sky is blue,
The clouds are rolling in,
Because I'm gone again,
And to him I just can't be true,

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful,
And it kills him inside,
To know that I am happy with some other guy,
I can see him dying,

I don't wanna do this anymore,
I don't wanna be the reason why,
Every time I walk out the door,
I see him die a little more inside,
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life,
I don't wanna be,
… A murderer!

Boy:
I feel the dream in me expire,
And there’s no one left to blame it on,
I hear you label me a liar,
‘cause I can’t seem to get this through,
You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah,
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here,

And I am aware now of how,
Everything’s gonna be fine one day,
Too late, I’m in hell,
I am prepared now,
Seems everyone’s gonna be fine,
One day too late; just as well!

Conceivably, now, I see the picture clear,
I can feel my feelings expire, and it’s just a mere,
Matter of time, before I let you go,
Strive coming back to me then, it’ll be a no!

Good times, good thoughts; They seem way far,
I wish I could let the pain stay buried inside,
Maybe have a friend-in-depression strum a lil' guitar,
Maybe we don't talk, but at least I'll have my friends by my side,

All the time, I wish i would lay to rest, forever,
All this time I thought I’d be the best for you, but never,
Again will i think the same about you,

... I know it's not true,
But maybe I was meant to be just another friend,
Maybe then, the pains of missing you,
Would finally filter through!

If not an open diary,
Then at least be a torn page,
From a book, for me,
So that I read you…

Girl:
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road,
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go,
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why,
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time,

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right,
I hope you had the time of your life…

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind,
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time,
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial,
For what it's worth it was worth all the while,

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life!

Boy:
I tried to be perfect,
But nothing was worth it,
I don’t believe it makes me real,
I thought it’d be easy,
But no one believes me,
I meant all the things I said!

This place is so empty,
My thoughts are so tempting,
I don’t know how it got so bad,
Sometimes it’s so crazy,
That nothing can save me,
But it’s the only thing that I have,

If you believe it’s in my soul,
I’d say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I’m trying to let you know;
That I’m better off on my own!

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say you're sorry,
I've heard it all before,
And I can take care of myself,
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say 'Forgive me',
I've seen it all before,
And I can't take it anymore,

You're not half the woman you think you are,
Save your words because you've gone too far,
I've listened to your lies and all your stories,
You're not half the woman you'd like to be,

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say you're sorry,
I've heard it all before,
And I can take care of myself,
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say 'Forgive me',
I've seen it all before,
And I can't take it anymore,

Don't explain yourself 'cause talk is cheap,
There's more important things than hearing you speak,
You stayed because I made it so convenient,
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see!

Girl:
You know that feeling you get?
When you’re so sure, but not sure yet?
So damn sure, but it making me feel things.
That I’ve never felt before,
I don’t wanna stand, I don’t wanna sit,
I just wanna sit back and regret,
What I thought,
The fact that it is with my psyche I fought!
And I fought some more!
So goddamn sure, but yet so not sure!

My emotions, hard to seal,
My thoughts, hard to conceal,
The words, I don’t wanna disclose,
My weak mind, I don’t wanna expose!
My even weaker heart, that so obviously shows!
The verity that I have my eyes closed,
The truth that this gives me yet another low!
The actuality that everyone close to me knows!
I WANT to give it another shot!
Forget the world, and forget everything else!
Think just about us, forget the whole lot!

… Or I’ll do the right thing;
I’ll Stop thinking about it, repent it,
Maybe even cry,
Soon enough,
I’ll breathe my last breath inside,
And I hope that one day,
I’ll fucking putrefy!!!

Boy:
I know my days are numbered,
I’ve been in and out of this phase,
But these days keep passing me by,
Good never comes my way,

I Try to sit back and relax,
I Try and think of something good,
Something else and something pure,
I cant but I know I should.

No more waiting for something better to come along,
Its much easier to change me than its to change them all,
Things I should have said and things that I regret,
I think i'll need to shed all my skin and start again.

…Things I should have said,
Things that I regret,
And I regret some more…

And every turn I make is wrong.
I haven’t smiled in so long.
The memories that I once had,
Of all the good times we used to have…

Why,
Did you have to go with the Tide?
Why,
Are you not by my side?
Why.
Couldn’t everything be fine?
Why,
Couldn’t our story have had a happy ending?
… And start again with once upon a time?

Prakhar Pramod
February, 2008.

A Poem: Maa

Maybe I’ve caused too much of a downfall, and a lot less of gain,
Maybe I’ve become much less of a son, and lot more of a shame,
But one day of your silence, is twenty four hours of torture,
Eighty-six-thousand-four-hundred minutes of agony and a world full of pain.
I’d prefer it if you hurt me, physically, please,
Leave me no more to contemplate things this insane!

Eventually, progressively, and now repetitively,
I’ve become in your repute and your life, a scar,
My actions have been a fret, but my thoughts have always thought far,
Unconsciously and unintentionally, I’ve caused too much disappointment,
And now, with drenched eyes, I try to converse,
That you in fact, are my ointment!

I saw you whimper in my school, and that one tear trickling down your eye,
Lay me down in an excruciating trance; it put me in distress,
And in my abstinent, cold, scrawny heart, it set an enduring sty.
… And even though you know that it did, have you ever thought why?

I seal my teeth and heart, each instant I see you frown,
And this time I saw you really weep, it gives me hitherto another down,
Maybe mentioning the subsequent verse won’t prove my reverence for you, ma,
It might just attest its author’s poetry, and his penchant,
But for now, I use it as a medium to beseech for forgiveness,
And scream out to you, I love you, ma!

… Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin,
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa,
Yun To Main, Dikhlata Nahin,
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa,
Har din Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe,
Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi meri Maa,
Tujhse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin,
Par Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa,
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin,
Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon main Maa,
Bheed Mein Yun Na Chhodo Mujhe ki,
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa,
Bhej Na Itna Door Muhjko Tu,
Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa,
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa?
Kya Itna Bura… Meri Maa?!

- ‘Maa’ – Shankar/Ehsaam/Loy, Taare Zameen Par (2007).

Prakhar Pramod,
February, 2008.

A Poem: Reminiscence of My Brother

(For my brother, Tuhin Parhi, a soul, yet to be taken away from me, but never from my heart!)

Perhaps this was yet another chapter, and I wouldn’t wish for it,
Never will we be close to anyone again,
And your thought will make sure of it,
And if you ever do, don’t leave them in the dark, like you did us,
Never give away your past, the truth, never leave their hearts rust,
Never will there be another number three,
No more head banging at the hub, at A.M, 6:30!

Leaving us now is like a sin, in my heart!
So let this brilliance of a fluke sink, in our hearts!
A brother, a best friend, you represent an amount much more!
And let me hark back to the good times, our saccharine voice,
As you head south, we fall back north,
And leave us no choice,
But to let our brotherhood never shine forth!

I’ll miss you bro, your each word, your each thought,
Fagfests, music, cigarettes, and the whole lot,
And we’ll be in the dark,
Never again will our sprits be loft,
But just wish we too got shot!
We have no choice but to feel unfathomable remorse,
We lost our brother, and at that, our fucking music source!

I sit here, in this empty room, wishing each second I’d die,
I quiver each time I think of a rhyme,
I wish I could cut my veins, shut up, be like a mime,
The fucking dance moves, the Sony speakers, even your sinister smile.
Fagfest 1 , 2, 3, 4, they’re all still in my mind!
And yet you have the audacity to say that YOU don’t have time!

Let’s rewind to number four, and pause it,
You befell my brother then, and I applause it,
What the hell do you assume I’ll think?
Each time I unbolt my own fucking closet!
I’ll have all ‘em tears down, and I’ll just close it,
No, I can’t weep, I have to let them in, I have to force it!
But you connote the globe to me, and brother, even you know it!

I know you covet us not to let pass you,
And our frowns never to be seen,
You say, “You will hit upon another Tuhin”
… And we wound up hitting Nicotine!

Prakhar,
January, 2008.

A Poem: Putrefy!

(For my girl)

You feel that rage imminent? Here goes…

You know that feeling you get?
When you’re so sure, but not sure yet?
So damn sure, but it makes you feel shit.
That you’ve never felt before,
You don’t wanna stand you don’t wanna sit,
You just wanna sit back and regret,
What you thought,
The fact that it is with your psyche you fought!
And you fought some more!
So goddamn sure, but yet so not sure!

When you go for someone, and this time you meant it?
It so fucks with your mind, and you just wanna forget it?
And you discern, if you back out, you’re gonna regret it?
Fuck this and fuck that, that’s all you’ll get to say?!

“FUCK THE WORLD” is what I say!
Fuck one and all who mess with you this way!
Fuck all your thoughts! This ain’t fucking sane!

… And when you fuck it all, you think bout the same,
Goddamn fixation that makes you cry,
Whimper within your each fucking vein!

This monstrosity,
This animosity,
That you’ve built up with your mind,
The goddamn notion,
That’ll make you back out from the fucking best find!

And just when you think you’re sure!
You think about it some fucking more!
It’s imprudent you know! And I know!
Do this! Do that! That’s all your mind reminds you of!
Back off, fuck off, think of and cry for,
The fucking one who made you so sure,
But yet, so not sure!

Stay inside your sheets,
Feel your heart beat,
Feel fucking afraid of all that’d make you feel,
Kill your thoughts and kill it in a way,
That will no longer make your mind sway…

From that goddamn obsession,
That regression,
That degeneration!

… Conceal without Concealing!
Speak, without speaking,
Sleep without sleeping,
And feel without feeling,
Maintain it all in, and then shout it all out!
“Believe without BELEIVING!”

Give it another shot,
Give it an extra thought,
Give it another fucking thought,
And you know what?!
It’s the same craze that made you so sure, yet sure not!

The emotion, hard to seal,
The thoughts, hard to conceal,
The words, you don’t wanna disclose,
Your weak mind, you don’t wanna expose!
Your even weaker heart, that so obviously shows!
The verity that you have your eyes closed,
The truth that this gives you a fucking further low!
The actuality that everyone close to you knows!
You WANT to give it another shot!
Fuck the world, fuck everything else!
Think just about us, fuck the whole lot!

… Or do the right thing;
Stop thinking about it, repent it,
Maybe even cry,
Hope that Soon enough,
You will breathe your last breath inside,
And hope that one day,
You’ll fucking putrefy!!!

-Prakhar
January, 2008

The Miscellaneous Exercise of Random Problems. (With Solutions)

*When people who have nothing to do with your life or vice versa, call themselves Anti-Christs just to look cool, even if they are Hindus.

The Solution – Write down a rap that you know they’ll read and post it on a popular blog!

Yo, mike check!
You are in no way cool, dontcha’ see?
Called yourself an anti-christ, and I was just B. I. T,
With dreams of going into the IIT,
You’ll end up studying in Fucking AIT,
Anal Institute of tech-fuckin-ology

Going trans-religious, is your motherfuckin’ sin.
The following words you better listen,
Go out, get a life, see whatchu been missin’
And you’ll get to see what gravity, your insanity, has risen,
Imitating, duplicating, Mocking
Lying, Cumming, replicating and reminiscing,

I have hated you from the beginning till the end,
From now, to the rest of my life,
I’ma let the Ash-bashing begin!

*When you are tired of your neighbours playing Reshamiya music way too loud. I swear to god, I’d rather hear wolves howl. In the chorus of one of his most recent songs from the motion picture ‘Welcome’, he goes SO nasal, it actually sounds like a dog trying to speak. I have no idea how he got to do (literally) so many movies. I guess raping Original Sound tracks is the latest trend :| A common mans’ opinion, “Agar gaano ka baltakar karna hai, toh Himesh bhai ko music director banado”.

The Solution –

*Unhook the smoke detectors.

*Go to the kitchen, and turn up the gas.

*Go to your bedroom and light up a cigarette

*Walk around, while your house explodes.

*Or rather your neighbours house.

*While you are attending class, a teacher drifts into wayy too many vague topics.. ”Washington D.C is the Capital of United States of America. America is very great country. Main ek baar America gaya tha with my family. Wahaan pe hum apnee behen ke saath ruke the. Unke ghar mein ek swimming pool hai. Mere bete ko swimming pools bahut acche lagtein hain. Usse main swimming ki coaching mein bhejta hoon. Ek din woh swimming ki coaching nahee attend kar paya kyunki who Physics ke tuition attend kar raha tha. Woh 12^th ke baad engineering mein compete kar gaya. Magar mera chhota beta saala nalayak nikla. Din raat volleyball khelta rehta tha. Saala sadak ke kutton ke saath khelte rehta tha. Ek baar who mereko bola ki ,”Papa, mere ko ek bulldog chahiye”. Main bas bol diya ‘Teri maa ki sale, jaake padh!”. Nalayak bahut roya uss din, magar mereko maza aaya. Raat ko akele kamre mein daaru chadhake Kurkure kha raha tha. Galtee se aankh scratch kar diya, aura ankh jalne lagee. Kurkure ka yahee problem hai saala, tadka kum, mirchee zyaada hota hai. Ok, ok, main kucch zyaada hi bol gaya Coming back to what I was teaching; That is how a Bill become a Law”.

The bell suddenly rings and Maths class is over!

The Solution -

*If the teacher is ugly, then laugh. LAUGH, motherfucker! Laugh your arse off! Point, stare, jump, shout, No, actually scream ‘Teri Bhan Ki.. !’ and hide your face. If he doesn’t catch you, then it’s cool, if he does, make sure you don’t stop laughing. Or otherwise~

*Read Frankie Muniz’s book ‘Hundred Ways to Kill Boredom’

*Read Prakhar Pramod’s upcoming release ‘Hundred Ways To Kill a Small Teacher”

*Read Mr. Veturi’s reply-book to Mr. Pramod’s original cover ‘Hundred Ways To Die.. What If the Teacher’s big?’

*Ah, yes! When teenagers minconstrue and misuse the word 'commited'! Here are some views of a God-Like personality, Prerit Pramod, on ‘commitment’ on teenagers:-

Typical Teenage Girl [which is just another way of writing - a slut who has no idea how to judge a boy and runs only after looks and money] (to her friends): Yaar, I broke up with Jitesh yesterday.. but I got committed to Ramu today (No.. really.. it's a human's name)..

Yeah right bitch! Just say I got booked and for some days I'll make him spend!

You know, he's really sensitive, and sweet and caring and VERY intelligent [but she won't mention that he studies Chicken Malai Tikka engineering in Multi-Coloured Poppins Institute of Technology (MCPIT)].. I really love him.. [yeah.. oh-ohk.. love in a day.. you remember his last name?]
Ramu (to his friends): Maal pata li bhenchod.. her name is.. Shiela... no wait, was it Sheena? Well, how does that matter.. her boobs taste like cherries.. and her legs are awesome.. Ekdum Makkhan, Pancho!
His friend: So make us meet her... we'll share the booty... what are friends for?
Ramu (pissed): Oye.. shut up mofo.. I love her and I'm committed to her.. Didn’t you just listen to me?!

The Solution –

* Listen to Ramu and say, “Sure did, bro. You fell in love right after you licked her, and were committed 30 seconds later. Good job, how about some brains, then?

* Try to hide your fat-arsed feelings of never having a long-term relationship by bitching about random teenage sluts on your blog.

*No wait, that’s just me..

Even if these aren’t YOUR usual problems you could have at least realized, by now, that you have wasted QUITE a lot of time reading this crap, when you could have rather studied, or even poked your Rectum with pins, or better yet, Ninja Shirkins.