A Confrontation, With Life.

So, people, I've been reading too many of these suicide cases in the newspapers recently. And I guess one of the stories, about a boy in Gujarat, whom I refuse to publicise, shook me a little. Believe it or not, but I did relate to it. I just couldn't believe what I was reading. I'm afraid I have no choice but to talk to you all in hints. All I can say is that this kid believed that he cheated so many times in his life that for once he had to cut it short and cheat on life itself. Think he's weak? You are probably right. But imagine your worst nightmares put in front of you, in the blink of an eye. No, not one after the other, but all at once, all in one go, all in one great big bullet that life shot straight at you, what WOULD you do? If nothing, you WILL quiver, right? Now imagine if the ones closest to you are the ones who have given up on you, and told you that you they did so, because you've done so yourself. Imagine if you have no one to talk to. Not even your parents, your brother, your sister, your friends, no one. Keeps your mind ticking, doesn't it? Ladies and gentlemen, according to me, the only way out, is talking to life itself.

Hmm, so what is life all about? Let’s poke a finger at that question again, shall we? Many people ask many people that, and many people have, well, many opinions about it. If you were somewhat above the age of say, 13, you would’ve probably realized that life doesn’t exactly always treat you the finest way. Oh, mind you, not the finest way one should live, but the preeminent way that you thought for you, yourself. I’m a little older than the age I just prearranged, and well, I might know a little more about it as well. Here’s my take on it.

Life is really not about ups and downs. It’s really not about how high you rise, or how low you fall, and not even how hard you fight back. It’s really about making your own little mess and cleaning it up. And, if you haven’t ever been in a mess, well, pal; you haven’t lived life as yet. But trust me; don’t give up on it, because it won’t give up on you.

Ok, let’s be real now. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? Is it really the time when your parents hit you for the first time? Or is it the time when you broke up with your girlfriend/boyfriend whom you really loved? Is it that time when you couldn’t get a girl/guy you really liked? Is it that time when you failed in some part of your academia, or say, even a grade? Or is it that time you lost whom you thought was the greatest buddy you’ve ever had? Is it betrayal by someone you thought was as close your own kin? Is it a long over-due reality-check?

Hell, no! None of them are even remotely close to the big fish! Everyone goes though these little obstacles, you know you have! C’mon, face life, and yell back; “I’m still here, I’m still breathing, I’m still as alive as alive can be! Yeah, FUCK YOU life! Nice fucking try! If the only way to be true to you takes all this and much, much, and I dare to say it again, MUCH more, well; I’m ready to face it. But, I don’t want anyone else’s snap judgments! I don’t! You don’t know me! No one knows me! And no one CAN know me, because, fuck it, even I DON’T KNOW ME! I might never! But, really, I do NOT want anyone else, and I mean ANYONE, breathing down my neck so hard, and so, so long that I feel that suicide is the only way out! I don’t! I want my life back, I want to be a pre-teen again, and I wanted to talk to my kin about random things, about something, anything beyond academia! About you, life! About you! Well, to HELL with it. I don’t need it anymore. It’s amazing what I feel now. I’m going through what I used to hope are my lowest times, and now I’m not scared. C’mon, life, this is an open challenge to you; take me lower, take me below hell even, I don’t care. Because this time, I’m prepared for you. I know your little tricks; I know your little games. I know how you like to pounce when I least expect it. But maybe this time I’ll pounce back and fight for no one else, but for me. Just me. Bring it on!”

You might never know who you really are,
You might never find out,
But the time you have in this world,
It isn’t about letting others find you, no!
… It’s about taking the mightiest falls,
Even if none of your core is left,
It’s about taking that biggest one of them all,
And letting that pain filter through…

Never give up, people. There's always someone to live for, and that's you.