The Miscellaneous Exercise of Random Problems. (With Solutions)

*When people who have nothing to do with your life or vice versa, call themselves Anti-Christs just to look cool, even if they are Hindus.

The Solution – Write down a rap that you know they’ll read and post it on a popular blog!

Yo, mike check!
You are in no way cool, dontcha’ see?
Called yourself an anti-christ, and I was just B. I. T,
With dreams of going into the IIT,
You’ll end up studying in Fucking AIT,
Anal Institute of tech-fuckin-ology

Going trans-religious, is your motherfuckin’ sin.
The following words you better listen,
Go out, get a life, see whatchu been missin’
And you’ll get to see what gravity, your insanity, has risen,
Imitating, duplicating, Mocking
Lying, Cumming, replicating and reminiscing,

I have hated you from the beginning till the end,
From now, to the rest of my life,
I’ma let the Ash-bashing begin!

*When you are tired of your neighbours playing Reshamiya music way too loud. I swear to god, I’d rather hear wolves howl. In the chorus of one of his most recent songs from the motion picture ‘Welcome’, he goes SO nasal, it actually sounds like a dog trying to speak. I have no idea how he got to do (literally) so many movies. I guess raping Original Sound tracks is the latest trend :| A common mans’ opinion, “Agar gaano ka baltakar karna hai, toh Himesh bhai ko music director banado”.

The Solution –

*Unhook the smoke detectors.

*Go to the kitchen, and turn up the gas.

*Go to your bedroom and light up a cigarette

*Walk around, while your house explodes.

*Or rather your neighbours house.

*While you are attending class, a teacher drifts into wayy too many vague topics.. ”Washington D.C is the Capital of United States of America. America is very great country. Main ek baar America gaya tha with my family. Wahaan pe hum apnee behen ke saath ruke the. Unke ghar mein ek swimming pool hai. Mere bete ko swimming pools bahut acche lagtein hain. Usse main swimming ki coaching mein bhejta hoon. Ek din woh swimming ki coaching nahee attend kar paya kyunki who Physics ke tuition attend kar raha tha. Woh 12^th ke baad engineering mein compete kar gaya. Magar mera chhota beta saala nalayak nikla. Din raat volleyball khelta rehta tha. Saala sadak ke kutton ke saath khelte rehta tha. Ek baar who mereko bola ki ,”Papa, mere ko ek bulldog chahiye”. Main bas bol diya ‘Teri maa ki sale, jaake padh!”. Nalayak bahut roya uss din, magar mereko maza aaya. Raat ko akele kamre mein daaru chadhake Kurkure kha raha tha. Galtee se aankh scratch kar diya, aura ankh jalne lagee. Kurkure ka yahee problem hai saala, tadka kum, mirchee zyaada hota hai. Ok, ok, main kucch zyaada hi bol gaya Coming back to what I was teaching; That is how a Bill become a Law”.

The bell suddenly rings and Maths class is over!

The Solution -

*If the teacher is ugly, then laugh. LAUGH, motherfucker! Laugh your arse off! Point, stare, jump, shout, No, actually scream ‘Teri Bhan Ki.. !’ and hide your face. If he doesn’t catch you, then it’s cool, if he does, make sure you don’t stop laughing. Or otherwise~

*Read Frankie Muniz’s book ‘Hundred Ways to Kill Boredom’

*Read Prakhar Pramod’s upcoming release ‘Hundred Ways To Kill a Small Teacher”

*Read Mr. Veturi’s reply-book to Mr. Pramod’s original cover ‘Hundred Ways To Die.. What If the Teacher’s big?’

*Ah, yes! When teenagers minconstrue and misuse the word 'commited'! Here are some views of a God-Like personality, Prerit Pramod, on ‘commitment’ on teenagers:-

Typical Teenage Girl [which is just another way of writing - a slut who has no idea how to judge a boy and runs only after looks and money] (to her friends): Yaar, I broke up with Jitesh yesterday.. but I got committed to Ramu today (No.. really.. it's a human's name)..

Yeah right bitch! Just say I got booked and for some days I'll make him spend!

You know, he's really sensitive, and sweet and caring and VERY intelligent [but she won't mention that he studies Chicken Malai Tikka engineering in Multi-Coloured Poppins Institute of Technology (MCPIT)].. I really love him.. [yeah.. oh-ohk.. love in a day.. you remember his last name?]
Ramu (to his friends): Maal pata li bhenchod.. her name is.. Shiela... no wait, was it Sheena? Well, how does that matter.. her boobs taste like cherries.. and her legs are awesome.. Ekdum Makkhan, Pancho!
His friend: So make us meet her... we'll share the booty... what are friends for?
Ramu (pissed): Oye.. shut up mofo.. I love her and I'm committed to her.. Didn’t you just listen to me?!

The Solution –

* Listen to Ramu and say, “Sure did, bro. You fell in love right after you licked her, and were committed 30 seconds later. Good job, how about some brains, then?

* Try to hide your fat-arsed feelings of never having a long-term relationship by bitching about random teenage sluts on your blog.

*No wait, that’s just me..

Even if these aren’t YOUR usual problems you could have at least realized, by now, that you have wasted QUITE a lot of time reading this crap, when you could have rather studied, or even poked your Rectum with pins, or better yet, Ninja Shirkins.