(For my girl)
You feel that rage imminent? Here goes…
You know that feeling you get?
When you’re so sure, but not sure yet?
So damn sure, but it makes you feel shit.
That you’ve never felt before,
You don’t wanna stand you don’t wanna sit,
You just wanna sit back and regret,
What you thought,
The fact that it is with your psyche you fought!
And you fought some more!
So goddamn sure, but yet so not sure!
When you go for someone, and this time you meant it?
It so fucks with your mind, and you just wanna forget it?
And you discern, if you back out, you’re gonna regret it?
Fuck this and fuck that, that’s all you’ll get to say?!
Fuck one and all who mess with you this way!
Fuck all your thoughts! This ain’t fucking sane!
Goddamn fixation that makes you cry,
Whimper within your each fucking vein!
This monstrosity,
This animosity,
That you’ve built up with your mind,
The goddamn notion,
That’ll make you back out from the fucking best find!
You think about it some fucking more!
It’s imprudent you know! And I know!
Do this! Do that! That’s all your mind reminds you of!
Back off, fuck off, think of and cry for,
The fucking one who made you so sure,
But yet, so not sure!
Stay inside your sheets,
Feel your heart beat,
Feel fucking afraid of all that’d make you feel,
Kill your thoughts and kill it in a way,
That will no longer make your mind sway…
From that goddamn obsession,
That regression,
That degeneration!
… Conceal without Concealing!
Speak, without speaking,
Sleep without sleeping,
And feel without feeling,
Maintain it all in, and then shout it all out!
“Believe without BELEIVING!”
Give it another shot,
Give it an extra thought,
Give it another fucking thought,
And you know what?!
It’s the same craze that made you so sure, yet sure not!
The emotion, hard to seal,
The thoughts, hard to conceal,
The words, you don’t wanna disclose,
Your weak mind, you don’t wanna expose!
Your even weaker heart, that so obviously shows!
The verity that you have your eyes closed,
The truth that this gives you a fucking further low!
The actuality that everyone close to you knows!
You WANT to give it another shot!
Fuck the world, fuck everything else!
Think just about us, fuck the whole lot!
… Or do the right thing;
Stop thinking about it, repent it,
Maybe even cry,
Hope that Soon enough,
You will breathe your last breath inside,
And hope that one day,
You’ll fucking putrefy!!!
-Prakhar
January, 2008

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