A Poem: I'll Reflect. All Over Again!

Ok, this is a compilation of lyrics from many different songs written by many different artists. Most of the lyrics are broken pieces from songs written by me. I would like to thank Tuhin Parhi, Samir Malik and Pranav Malhotra, as lines from each of their songs have been used in it as well. This is just an experiment. Let’s see what you all have to say for it. By the way, it took a SHIT load of editing and time to write this, so make sure you read and understand each line. It does speak of a story! :D

Boy:
Baby, what’s been bothering you so?
Don’t you love me any more?
Has me loving you not been sufficient?
Is there any rationale that’s making you unsure?
I love you more than any other guy ever could!

… It’s a worn out proclamation, I know,
But your love is an intoxication, for me, for sure,
Each instant I back out from us,
I wind up begging for you some more!

The best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting,
It couldn’t be that we have been this way before,
I know you don’t think that I am trying,
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core
… But hold your breath!

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you,
Over again,
Don’t make me change my mind!
I won’t live to see another day,
I swear it’s true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find,
You’re fucking impossible to find!

Girl:
Our love doesn’t seem now, to have its same meaning,
We were over, when my each pound was kneeling,
So don’t wake me if I’m dreaming,
Don’t reminisce me, if your heart is screaming,
Don’t screech for me, if your thoughts are still leaning,
Don’t call me, if your insecurity is increasing,

Think about it,
Maybe you don’t need me, our relations already blazing,
Maybe you don’t need me, these thoughts, amazing!

Because your voice will decay,
But my feelings for you will remain,
And since your dreams won’t portray,
I just have to say,
That my feelings for you will fucking remain!

Boy:
I can’t live with pain and suffering for long, neither can you.
I can live with happiness and innocence and so can you.
I just can’t believe you're not there for me, but turns out you never were.

I break myself over and over and over again...
Only to rebuild my self, especially for you,
And then I break again.
But I won’t give up being built,
And I won’t give up loving you.
I hammer myself in my dreams,
I try to mould my dreams to perfection,
But perfection seems to be impossible.
I’m always not good enough, that’s what it seems to me,

And nothing is your fault.
No matter what I do, no matter what I say... I’ll still love you.
No matter what you do, no matter what you say... I’ll still love you.

Because days will come and go,
But my feelings for you are forever,
Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever!

… One last kiss, before I go,
Make one last wish, before it shows,
That your one last touch, that no one knows,
I’ll reminisce, when we’re paired no more,
Your one last caress, and I’ll implore for some more!

Girl (Thinks):
He's more than a man,
And this is more than love,
The reason that the sky is blue,
The clouds are rolling in,
Because I'm gone again,
And to him I just can't be true,

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful,
And it kills him inside,
To know that I am happy with some other guy,
I can see him dying,

I don't wanna do this anymore,
I don't wanna be the reason why,
Every time I walk out the door,
I see him die a little more inside,
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life,
I don't wanna be,
… A murderer!

Boy:
I feel the dream in me expire,
And there’s no one left to blame it on,
I hear you label me a liar,
‘cause I can’t seem to get this through,
You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah,
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here,

And I am aware now of how,
Everything’s gonna be fine one day,
Too late, I’m in hell,
I am prepared now,
Seems everyone’s gonna be fine,
One day too late; just as well!

Conceivably, now, I see the picture clear,
I can feel my feelings expire, and it’s just a mere,
Matter of time, before I let you go,
Strive coming back to me then, it’ll be a no!

Good times, good thoughts; They seem way far,
I wish I could let the pain stay buried inside,
Maybe have a friend-in-depression strum a lil' guitar,
Maybe we don't talk, but at least I'll have my friends by my side,

All the time, I wish i would lay to rest, forever,
All this time I thought I’d be the best for you, but never,
Again will i think the same about you,

... I know it's not true,
But maybe I was meant to be just another friend,
Maybe then, the pains of missing you,
Would finally filter through!

If not an open diary,
Then at least be a torn page,
From a book, for me,
So that I read you…

Girl:
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road,
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go,
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why,
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time,

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right,
I hope you had the time of your life…

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind,
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time,
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial,
For what it's worth it was worth all the while,

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life!

Boy:
I tried to be perfect,
But nothing was worth it,
I don’t believe it makes me real,
I thought it’d be easy,
But no one believes me,
I meant all the things I said!

This place is so empty,
My thoughts are so tempting,
I don’t know how it got so bad,
Sometimes it’s so crazy,
That nothing can save me,
But it’s the only thing that I have,

If you believe it’s in my soul,
I’d say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I’m trying to let you know;
That I’m better off on my own!

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say you're sorry,
I've heard it all before,
And I can take care of myself,
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say 'Forgive me',
I've seen it all before,
And I can't take it anymore,

You're not half the woman you think you are,
Save your words because you've gone too far,
I've listened to your lies and all your stories,
You're not half the woman you'd like to be,

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say you're sorry,
I've heard it all before,
And I can take care of myself,
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,
Please don't say 'Forgive me',
I've seen it all before,
And I can't take it anymore,

Don't explain yourself 'cause talk is cheap,
There's more important things than hearing you speak,
You stayed because I made it so convenient,
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see!

Girl:
You know that feeling you get?
When you’re so sure, but not sure yet?
So damn sure, but it making me feel things.
That I’ve never felt before,
I don’t wanna stand, I don’t wanna sit,
I just wanna sit back and regret,
What I thought,
The fact that it is with my psyche I fought!
And I fought some more!
So goddamn sure, but yet so not sure!

My emotions, hard to seal,
My thoughts, hard to conceal,
The words, I don’t wanna disclose,
My weak mind, I don’t wanna expose!
My even weaker heart, that so obviously shows!
The verity that I have my eyes closed,
The truth that this gives me yet another low!
The actuality that everyone close to me knows!
I WANT to give it another shot!
Forget the world, and forget everything else!
Think just about us, forget the whole lot!

… Or I’ll do the right thing;
I’ll Stop thinking about it, repent it,
Maybe even cry,
Soon enough,
I’ll breathe my last breath inside,
And I hope that one day,
I’ll fucking putrefy!!!

Boy:
I know my days are numbered,
I’ve been in and out of this phase,
But these days keep passing me by,
Good never comes my way,

I Try to sit back and relax,
I Try and think of something good,
Something else and something pure,
I cant but I know I should.

No more waiting for something better to come along,
Its much easier to change me than its to change them all,
Things I should have said and things that I regret,
I think i'll need to shed all my skin and start again.

…Things I should have said,
Things that I regret,
And I regret some more…

And every turn I make is wrong.
I haven’t smiled in so long.
The memories that I once had,
Of all the good times we used to have…

Why,
Did you have to go with the Tide?
Why,
Are you not by my side?
Why.
Couldn’t everything be fine?
Why,
Couldn’t our story have had a happy ending?
… And start again with once upon a time?

Prakhar Pramod
February, 2008.