A Poem: Maa

Maybe I’ve caused too much of a downfall, and a lot less of gain,
Maybe I’ve become much less of a son, and lot more of a shame,
But one day of your silence, is twenty four hours of torture,
Eighty-six-thousand-four-hundred minutes of agony and a world full of pain.
I’d prefer it if you hurt me, physically, please,
Leave me no more to contemplate things this insane!

Eventually, progressively, and now repetitively,
I’ve become in your repute and your life, a scar,
My actions have been a fret, but my thoughts have always thought far,
Unconsciously and unintentionally, I’ve caused too much disappointment,
And now, with drenched eyes, I try to converse,
That you in fact, are my ointment!

I saw you whimper in my school, and that one tear trickling down your eye,
Lay me down in an excruciating trance; it put me in distress,
And in my abstinent, cold, scrawny heart, it set an enduring sty.
… And even though you know that it did, have you ever thought why?

I seal my teeth and heart, each instant I see you frown,
And this time I saw you really weep, it gives me hitherto another down,
Maybe mentioning the subsequent verse won’t prove my reverence for you, ma,
It might just attest its author’s poetry, and his penchant,
But for now, I use it as a medium to beseech for forgiveness,
And scream out to you, I love you, ma!

… Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin,
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa,
Yun To Main, Dikhlata Nahin,
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa,
Har din Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe,
Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi meri Maa,
Tujhse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin,
Par Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa,
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin,
Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon main Maa,
Bheed Mein Yun Na Chhodo Mujhe ki,
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa,
Bhej Na Itna Door Muhjko Tu,
Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa,
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa?
Kya Itna Bura… Meri Maa?!

- ‘Maa’ – Shankar/Ehsaam/Loy, Taare Zameen Par (2007).

Prakhar Pramod,
February, 2008.